The other night I went to a networking event for young professionals in the Des Moines area. I entered the building with a few other girls who looked about my age. They had just graduated from Iowa State in the spring and were excited about their first jobs out of college; their enthusiasm was cute as they talked about having work phones, professional clothes, and business cards. We were swapping stories about our personal lives when one of them noticed my engagement ring. She thought it was gorgeous and couldn't get over how pretty it was. At this time I will thank my fiancé for buying a lovely ring (side note: I took him to a jewelry store to show him exactly what I wanted but he had to go buy it all by himself, something I highly recommend to all people dating that are considering engagement ring shopping alone vs. together).
Anyway, back to the girl who loved my ring. She said something that struck me as funny. She quite simply stated, "I'm not even close to getting engaged." She has been with her boyfriend a few months now but doesn't feel ready to be attached for life. To each their own on their relationship path; if you're happy I can get behind your happiness. I started thinking about my own relationship (and wedding website that is a work in progress) and how I got to this point.
I was not one to have lots of boyfriends in high school (or even middle school for that matter). I just wasn't. I had friends that were girls and I liked hanging out with the guys I went to high school with but many of them were tied to girls in other grades or had their sights set on someone unattainable. I went to college pretty much convinced I would die with a couple pets and spend a lot of time reading. Quite sure my family put down bets one year as to when I would get married with the earliest date being like 2040. During my freshman year of college the number of guys available to me increased immensely. There were several nice guys on campus but lots of girls liked them and I didn't stand a chance.
I ran track my freshman year as well. There was this random guy that was a sprinter and he was kinda scary looking because he didn't smile much and he was really good at the 100 meter dash. There was running joke about him being a convict because he had big arms and a tattoo. I think I knew his name. He definitely didn't know mine. Fast forward to the fall and my friend Jesse and I decided to make a habit of attending offseason fall workouts pretty religiously. We also decided to befriend some of the other guys there (there was only 1 other girl and we were already her friend). One guy was named Cole. Cole will tell you this is the moment Jesse and I put a bounty on his friendship and that is not what happened but I digress.
Eventually Jesse and I befriended a few of the guys from fall workouts. We even went so far as to have dinner with a few them (like a group date from The Bachelor except there's not a rose or Chris Harrison or fancy clothes). A trip to Europe for myself in January became a turning point. I hadn't gone out much in college to that point. Well I decided it was a way to meet people and get the full college experience.
One night, in a poorly lit bar that shall go unnamed, I was in line for the bathroom with my friend Bailey. I distinctly remember having to pee really bad. Well, one of my befriended track guy friends asked if I wanted to dance. I chose dancing over going to the bathroom (I always recommend peeing over dancing, for the record) but it worked out because we're getting married in 374 days. I'm not counting, I have an app to tell me.
So maybe you're wondering why I talked about the girl who isn't ready to get married I met this week. The short answer is that was me not many years ago. I was the one pretty sure I would die alone and leave money to some charity. But here I am. Don't sell yourself short. You will find someone. Think of the weirdest couple you know: they found each other so you can find someone too. It might be somewhere unglamorous like a college bar or somewhere wonderful like an adult bar with good food and an official happy hour. I don't know. The possibilities are endless.
And I've been a pretty stressful person this week so thanks to my wonderful fiancé for being patient and being great cheerleader. You're the best!
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