Pierce/Hocker Christmas Blog 2016

 

A physical Christmas card is traditional and I love reading them, but I lack addresses, stamps, and envelopes to make the whole experience. I opted for a Christmas Blog since the people who want to read about my life will and if you wanted to skip over it on Facebook you absolutely could. Here is the very brief version of our 2016!

Cole
Cole continues to work for the State of Iowa Auditor. He travels considerably less than last year but still spends too much time in northwest Iowa. His phone continues to send him updates about who is retiring in O'Brien County, Iowa. He befriends lots of little old ladies in county government across the state. He even got a promotion in October! He is gradually gaining a little more responsibility, and a bit of a pay raise too!

Bre 
I graduated from Luther in May with a degree in psychology. I wasn't entirely sure what I was going to do with the degree when I graduated and I still don't entirely know. I currently work as a loan servicing specialist 3 (titles are important!) at Wells Fargo. This is not a long term job but it helps to pay the bills for now. Perhaps I will be pursuing a new job or grad school in the future. My options are wide open right now which is both good and bad. I have a job right now and I can't complain.

Pretzel
For those who don't know, we got a German shorthair pointer puppy in June. She is a bundle of energy and cuteness. She takes up most of our free time, between walks and trips to the Raccoon River Dog Park. We make lots of friends every time we visit, usually befriending the largest dogs there first. We go on lots of walks after work and have enjoyed exploring different neighborhoods. Pretzel even passed puppy kindergarten in October–flying colors for responding to her own name! All too often people comment, "I've never seen a dog do [fill-in-the-blank] before!" She's a strange little dog that acts part dog, cat, monkey, and human at any given moment. We love her dearly anyway.

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The biggest news on the year is also the most recent. Cole bought a house in October and we moved in the week before Christmas (I am his favorite renter). It is a cute 3 bedroom house in Des Moines and it has a nice sized backyard for Pretzel to run to her little heart's content. I will be taking up gardening come spring, as there is already one in place. Cole will be able to put all his Luther grounds experience to good use as well, as we clear out some overgrowth. It has proven to have no shortage of projects and will likely be a work in progress for while. We are having a painting party this weekend with my family. Slowly but surely it will start to feel like "home." We enjoy the challenges of home ownership and it sure beats paying rent each month.

If you are ever in the Des Moines area, give us a ring! We have plenty of space for air mattresses, sleeping bags, and have extra pillows and blankets galore. We would love company! Give us a 2 minutes heads up and we can have an air mattress ready for you!

PetSmart/LifeSmart

Last week I spent a good amount of time in PetSmart. My boyfriend Cole and I are preparing to move across town and we will be slightly neglecting our dog for about 3 days. Don't worry, she will be left in good hands each day but she won't be getting the full attention from her parents that she normally gets on a weekend. Anyway, I was at PetSmart and bought her some long lasting (hypothetically, anyway) a couple of nifty new toys of moderate price ($7-9) and refrained from buying her the cheap Christmas toys at the front of the store, even though they were really cute and their squeaker features weren't the most annoying I had ever heard.

Well, I came home and told Cole about these cute, cheap, Christmas toys at PetSmart. So like any hip and fun couple we planned a date the following night and took our dog to PetSmart to buy her some festive stuff. Each toy was $1.47 and I bought 3 of them: a moose, a candy, and a reindeer. At this very moment, the candy is in the trash and I haven't seen the reindeer since yesterday morning. The moose and the candy were plushie/fleece and my dog has a knack for tearing the stuffing out of literally every toy she can (and her old dog bed). This wouldn't be a big problem but she likes to eat the stuffing and she has had enough trouble lately with her GI tract that she really doesn't need any more chaos going on there.

Every cheap toy I have ever bought her gets destroyed within in 2 days. Sure they are cute and fun for 48 hours but then they end up in the trash. A couple weeks ago she ate the fin off of a little red shark I bought for $1. Just today I threw away a tiger rope guy where she tore the stuff out of his face within 24 hours of owning him. We get him because he had a rope for a body but it turns out that was made of stuffing inside the rope. He was $3. Blue squeaker bone with rope ends? Shredded ropes in a week. It was only $5. Raccoon with ropes for feet? Rope torn out in 2 weeks. The raccoon is still intact but significantly less fun because it is hard to play tug of war with something a little bigger than a softball. He was also $5.

So here's the moral of the story: buy the $7 toys before you buy the $1.47 toys. Yes, they do cost more money. But they also last several months (they might last longer but I've only had the dog 6 months so I can't speak to the long term lasting effect here) longer than the cheap toys. You put a little more effort into buying quality toys and consequently they last a little longer. This also holds true in life.

I work in a division of Wells Fargo that handles loan servicing. I have worked there almost 6 months and I am working in my third process there. For one thing, we have hired close to 75 people in the last 2 months so I had to get moved to leave room for new people to do the starting process, but I also worked really hard at what I was doing in order to move up the ladder. Sure, my first process was ridiculously easy (borderline boring) but I did it with speed and did it right and was rewarded with more responsibilities. I got moved in 2 weeks. I got really good at the second process I worked in and was also moved on to the next process. With every bump step up on the ladder I get closer to the end of the process. There are several processes that make a up a single progression that makes sure people weren't overcharged for 2 lines on a closing disclosure (recording fees: yay government regulations!). In my current process I review the work of people who currently do my old jobs. I check for accuracy and then call settlements who are usually pleasant but occasionally annoyed about getting the customer money back. It's not fun to call and ask for a refund and it's certainly not fun to tell them if they don't do it we will do it for them and mark their noncompliance (I've only done that twice. Got refunds within the hour).

I guess this post is about investing in yourself. When I started writing this I wasn't sure where I was going with it. College students are coming up on finals and adults are closing in on the end of another year at work. It's too easy to cheap yourself out of hard work. Go the extra mile. Stay in the library or at your cubicle until the very end of the day. Hold yourself accountable to all the things you say you will do. Buy your dog the $7 toys. (Side note: beyond $15, the toys don't get exponentially better. You're paying for name brand at that point. I had a lot of free time in dog aisle once to notice this...) Sure the cheap toys in life are thrilling but they also disappear the fastest. Getting out of work early will seem like you are free but you end up leaving yourself more to do the following day(s). Sometimes my dog tries to dig her old toys out of the garbage can. You can't get back what you self sabotage-humans understand that but puppies don't.

Good luck on finals. Everyone makes it out alive. Just keep breathing and focusing on what you can control: your preparation. And best of luck to recent college grads who are not fully prepared to work so much over what has always been an extended break. Bring it on. Invest in yourself and be great.

 

Big Ugly #5

Many many many many apologies for dragging out the Big Uglies and for taking this long between posts. I've been living a big of chaos lately; on top of that, 11 of the last 16 days the internet has been out at my apartment. I finally got a night I could scoot up the street to Panera and I'm enjoying a smoothie as I type this. Some of you may know I'm lactose intolerant and will likely regret the smoothie choice later. YOLO (<--- is that still a thing?) I figured it would be rude to come mooch their wi-fi and not buy something. It does taste pretty good so it's not totally regrettable. Yet.

Any way..... The last Ugly Truth of adulthood I'm talking about is sleep. Just last week I was FaceTiming my brother. We had tried to do it a few nights before but I was getting in bed at 9 and he was working on homework still. The night we finally did FaceTime he was just getting back from meeting for a project and said he was going to be up until midnight or 1am and back up at 5am to go lift for football. I don't miss that part of college. I love leaving work each day and knowing I don't have to bring any work with me. I realize this is not the case with a lot of jobs but I am at work more than 10 hours a day and don't know that I could really handle spending a few more hours at home each night doing more work. Props to the people that do that. I don't miss the homework. Sidenote: last week (while on a stretch of home internet for a few days) I was researching how to start a garden. I was taking notes because gardens are a lot of work. I was copying and pasting notes left and right and didn't note what website any of it came from because I wasn't about to cite them. I just wanted the notes all in the same place.

The part of college I do miss is the ability to take a nap after class and not feel the slightest bit bad about it. Adulthood kinda sucks. You can't take a nap at your desk when the afternoon gets slow and no one is answering your calls. I have seen a few people do it and look very alarmed when they realized they fell asleep at their desk for an unknown amount of time. In college I always liked getting up early and going to the library to when no one else was there. I could claim a table and work distraction free for quite awhile. I could go to class and come back and take a nap undisturbed before my roommates got back. It was great. But citations weren't. You win some, you lose some.

I'm boring and go to bed around 9:30pm every night. Sorry to anyone that texts me after that point (aka Sarah Ea last night) because I read your message between 5 and 5:30am and then usually forget to respond because I decide I don't want to disturb normal people sleep schedules and respond at ungodly hours of the day. Or I respond and hope people don't get mad about me texting back while I eat breakfast at 6:15. Also my idea of sleeping in includes waking up after 7 on a weekend. I feel like I've gained 10 extra hours of sleep when I get to sleep in. It's really not that much extra but it sure feels like it. And I love it.

Sleep is precious in college; you get it where you can. In adulthood, you hope you never fall asleep at your desk or during a semi-important meeting. Sure, in college you can stay up late one night and sleep in the next day or take a heck of a midday nap to make up for lost sleep. But that doesn't happen in the adult world. I come from a family of serious nappers (aka my grandma takes the phone off the hook when she naps because she does not want to be awakened) and I really miss a good, midafternoon snooze to power through the evening. College students, cherish your afternoon naps because they don't exist in the real world (except on weekends and they are GLORIOUS then).

Big Ugly #4

College is an unusual time for young adults: clubs and hobbies and groups are bountiful. There is a way to be part of a "team" in so many ways.  Extracurricular activities are a huge part of the college experience–not just sports and choir either. There seems to be a club for about anything these days and if the club itself doesn't exist there are ways to make it happen.


My college life included a lot of sports and working out, spending time in the library and academic buildings, and knitting while watching TV or Netflix. The purpose of hobbies in our lives is often to get a break from what we do all day. With college, we don't "do" school all day but when we are in the academic zone we are highly focused and use our free time to not think about homework and impending death by reading and papers.

Hobbies are harder to have in a new place as an adult, especially if the hobbies were solo activities to begin with. The friends I once spent every hour with doing next to nothing but talk are no longer right there. Sure, I can turn on HLN and watch "Forensic Files" all day and knit an entire scarf but it isn't the same as doing it with my roommate, undisturbed all day. (PS- thanks Katie for joining that hobby. It always made me feel better that I wasn't watching weird crime shows alone.) In the same way, I went to track practice every day Monday through Friday for several years and could further develop my fitness and spend extended hours with some of my favorite people. Yes, it did take up a good chunk of time every day (and some days, a little more time than I bargained for) but the laughs I had at dinner after with teammates were a nice mental break before I went back to writing a paper or doing a reading assignment. Or the times Samantha and I totally avoided all responsibilities and would sit and talk through life for several hours at a time. Those times were great.

The longer I have spent in the "real world" the more my hobbies have changed. Sure I still hole up on a couch and binge watch a show while I knit, but I do it far less often because I have a dog that thinks she is part cat and will pick up my yarn and run around the room with it. Just yesterday I finished a scarf for my best friend who was coming to town. I've been working on that scarf since early September but because I can't knit around my dog, it made finishing the scarf increasingly difficult because we are together so much. Some of this is probably my own fault. Netflix and knitting are not social hobbies so they do not provide the level of socialization I desire after sitting in a cubicle all day with minimal human interaction. Also, I never bring work home with me so I don't necessary have to budget time for it each night. I spend my day looking at a computer screen and try not to come home and do it as well. I don't want to keep looking at a screen if I don't have to. I don't even really enjoy TV (with the exception of a few shows). If you're looking for new show to watch I highly recommend "This Is Us" on NBC, Tuesdays at 8PM.

My hobbies revolve around my exceptionally needy (some may say spoiled) dog. She needs daily long walks or she gets restless which isn't her fault. After walks she likes to play even more (yay rope and squeaker toys!) so I don't have a lot of extra time to spend focusing on a screen. Plus Pretzel has a knack for knowing when important plot points are happening in shows and needs to urgently go out and go to the bathroom. I have no idea how many important details I have missed with shows because of bathroom breaks. We spend a good chunk of time practicing commands as I try to teach her new skills and tricks as well. And every weekend includes a trip to a big dog park where she can run around and sniff as many plants and animals as she wants. She's pretty well known at the dog park mostly because she has a funny name and because she does very un-dog like things at the park like flail and run over other dogs. She makes all kinds of friends.

I have also taken to cooking and baking more now that I have a full kitchen in my possession. Thanks to sites like Pinterest I can look up recipes with about any main ingredient and scheme up meal plans for the week. It's one of the coolest parts about being an adult: the ability to eat whatever I want whenever I want. I read cookbooks for fun and try to learn new cooking techniques or ways to not cry while cutting an onion (so far little success on the second part of that). It genuinely is fun and a relatively inexpensive hobby.

And finally, I have this hobby of blog writing. Whether other people enjoy reading my blog I don't know. I have points to make and advice to offer. I hope people enjoy reading it and identifying with parts of it. People may not agree with everything I have to say and their lives may not match up with how I'm living mine. That's the other beauty of adulthood: free choice. I have decided how to spend my time beyond work and while my lifestyle may not be conducive to others, collaborating suggestions and ideas is a great starting point for growth. A different set of opportunities are available in adulthood that are not as easy to obtain in youth and college. It's part of the fun of growing up: changing and making new choices and self-discovery every single day.

Here's a picture of Buckingham Palace in London, England, to celebrate that I watched a 7 part documentary series on the Royal family. As close to an accomplishment as I've got in recent weeks.

Vete, Vate, VOTE!

I have always had an interest in politics and government. My dad is a government teacher and being knowledgeable about current politics is a necessity for his profession. Because of the need to be in the know, we always watched the nightly news as a family. Young Bre was an avid news watcher; on more than one occasion I was at a friend's house during the nightly news hour and asked if we would watch NBC news instead of cartoons. (Still a big Tom Brokaw fan to this day!) Sure, it was bit geeky but I had few concerns about my image at the age of 8 and really just wanted to know what was happening in the world. Keep in mind this was the pre-internet and social media era so really the only way to know what was happening in the world was by watching the news. Or reading the newspaper the following day.

Well, I have request with the upcoming election season: go vote. I do not care in the slightest who you are voting for. I don't care if my party wins or your party wins. If you didn't go out and vote for your candidate you deserve no opinion in politics this season. I do not want to see you complaining if your candidate does not win and I do not want to see you bragging if your candidate won, if you did not physically go to the polls or mail in your absentee ballot. The only way to win a political race is to have most people vote for you (with the exception of the presidential election where you can win the popular vote but lose the election because of the electoral college, but that's a whole other story). Don't whine or gloat on social media. It's not necessary if you did everything in your power to make a difference.

So go vote. I don't care about your party, your views, or your beliefs. This is not a time of right vs. wrong because both sides are at fault both sides have strong points. Are they each right 100% of the time? No. No one is. That's how being a human works. I care about your right to vote and your choice to exercise it. You can only do so much to help your candidate and your side. So get out there and vote!

Here's a motivational (basically just cute) video I fondly remember watching on VHS with my dad many times during my childhood. http://abc.go.com/shows/schoolhouse-rock/episode-guide/season-01/24-im-just-a-bill

Big Ugly #3

The third Ugly Truth I am uncovering is food. Childhoods meals were provided each night, cooked by a parent who did not have a ton of time but everything was sufficient. As people transition to college, a cafeteria provides a consistent set of options. Current college students will frequently tell you how much they despise the caf: there are always lines, the food doesn't taste the way they would like it, there isn't much variety, etc., etc. On the flipside many recent college graduates will tell you they would go back to eating cafeteria food in a heartbeat.

I never loved the caf at Luther but it certainly was not the worst in my mind. The food was above average and with a bit of creativity (aka visiting 6 different lines) I could create a relatively healthy meal I like (plus take a little fruit for the road). It was far from perfect but it was immediately available almost every night after track practice (unless practice was 7-9pm, in which case I ate at 4pm and my options were a little more limited), it was hot, and it came at no additional cost in my life (thanks Mom and Dad for paying for room and board).

Cooking as an adult is the exact opposite of all of that. I get home from work most nights just before 6 and usually have to take my dog on some sort of walk, at least 45 minutes. There is no food readily available when I come back. Some amount of prep work is always required. Food also comes at a price. Anyone that buys groceries knows that food supplies are not cheap and buying in bulk is not always practical for household of two (where one travels often) as food spoils and then gets wasted. I love the grocery store Aldi (if you're unfamiliar with the store, check it out here: https://www.aldi.us/) because everything is affordable and comes in a portion I can use. Because groceries are a bit expensive I try to plan meals so that I only have to buy necessary food at Aldi. If I plan well enough and use leftover supplies from previous meals I can spend about $35 a week on groceries for two people. I like to think this is actually pretty good but I don't know. Aldi offers great deals that make this happen and I adore them.

Another catch of buying food on your own is eating healthy on a budget. That's part of the reason I love Aldi so much, they actually have a pretty great selection of fruits and vegetables. Like any grocery store you have to check things out because some foods look like they are close to being thrown away, but I have had good luck being observant. College has a readily available salad bar and fruit selection with every meal. I don't eat fruits and veggies fast enough now to justify buying the big quantities because they expire before I can finish them. I try to shop healthy but the reality is I can make a pasta casserole that feeds me 5-7 meals and some vegetables just don't last that long and require some prep work (because who wants to eat a raw salad for every meal of their life?!).

College students, enjoy not cooking for yourself because post-college cooking can be a challenge if you aren't kitchen savvy to begin with. I was a baker but certainly no chef. I have learned how to fend for myself enough to get by and enjoy the planning and executing of a meal plan during the week. I like hunting through grocery stores, cross referencing sales flyers, trying to get the best deal; I've been known to go to 2-3 groceries in a weekend to get the best deals on everything–not even a little ashamed of that. By golly I want the best bang for my buck!

I enjoy the ability to decide what night I have spaghetti as opposed to it being my back up plan if all the other lines in the cafeteria didn't look so good. I've really taken to casseroles and crockpot meals because the ingredients are easy to have on hand and the meals can be thrown together quickly. They also create big meals that turn into leftovers, perfect for lunch at work the next day and maybe dinner the next night too. I have become pretty good at buying a set of ingredients, throwing it together, and making a decent meal that lasts for several days worth of meals. This is also great because I can eat immediately after getting back from work or exercising with my dog.

My other favorite aspect of cooking as an adult is the ability to experiment. I bought a butternut squash this weekend and will have to figure out to how cook it this week. The challenge is fun and sometimes things turn out great. Other times I make ramen because my plan fell through horribly and it's all I have time for after investing the last hour on something that failed miserably. The freedom to choose every meal is great but other times I wish everything was laid out for me. And costs money...There are no other options. If I don't buy groceries and cook them for myself, I starve.

So the call is out! Are you a young adult who has purchased his or her own groceries and needs some suggestions on easy meals?! Let's swap! I've already done this with one person (looking forward to your recipes, Sarah!) and I think my cooking ability can only go up from where it currently is. I am no Betty Crocker but I do have a couple ideas and I'm willing to throw things together and see what happens. I am not ready to cook a full Thanksgiving meal for 25 people but I have moved well above the cop out of toast and ramen from college.

 

Big Ugly #2

The second Big Ugly truth I am addressing is exercise. I have been an athlete my entire life: my parents were both coaches so sports have been a part of me since day one. (Also I was a volleyball player for my first Halloween, at only a month and a half old. My dad puff painted a onesie like a uniform for me.) I played many sports throughout my youth and into high school. When I came to college I decided to join the track team as a way to meet people (successful plan there).

During middle school and high school I did not have to worry about staying in shape or worry about eating too much or junk food. Sure, I have always been a little exercise and nutrition conscious but it was never really necessary. College became a different story. Your metabolism slows down as you age so come college, I was more aware of my exercise and eating habits.

I ran track four years at Luther. My freshman year I had not fully committed to being on the team but I did a lot of running on my own during the fall because the weather is perfect for running all the time. As part of a college PE class we had to run 3 miles on the track and I was actually pretty good at it. I had convinced myself that I did not need to compete to stay in shape. Eventually I ran past the head coach's house enough on my routes that he sent me an email pointing out that I was putting in a lot of time running and joining the track team would be a good idea. Well, I joined and I don't regret it. It was a great support system and we were all doing something we enjoyed, that happened to be exercise as well. Even if you aren't part of a sports team in college, most have state of the art fitness centers where there are weights, machines, classes, and pools; you are bound to find something you enjoy. Exercise is easy in college and can be a great way to procrastinate homework and de-stress.

However, that pre-planned, easy access, support system has proved challenging after college. In college it was easy to commit a few hours of my day to track because the people were great and it was a simple way to get all my exercise needs met. (Sidenote: felt pretty good about eating whatever I wanted, within reason of course, because my fitness levels were so high.) Since college though I haven't run much. I am at peace with that. I think I've gone running 5 times since my last meet in May. The first time I ran, I tried to take my puppy but she didn't quite understand jogging so we either sprinted or walked for 20 minutes. The second time I went running it was 95ºF outside and 100% humidity. I was at the mall a few minutes drive from my apartment and locked my keys in my car. I walked home to get the spare set and ran back to the mall. It was noon–hottest part of the day and 15 minutes of torture. I decided not to run again for awhile. My boyfriend and I tried running together a few times but we were neither one really interested in it. Part of me feels at a loss because I am not working toward a goal of a time in a competition. At the same time, adulthood does not leave a lot of solo exercise time.

My puppy has exceptionally high exercise needs. (Life tip: German shorthair pointers are not great apartment dogs. Cute as a button but they need a lot of exercise and ability to run. She is making due and we visit a big dog park a couple days a week so she gets plenty of exercise.) I leave for work around 7am and get home by 6pm. By the time my dog and I get a sufficient walk in for the evening it is 7pm. I try and make a rushed dinner and soon enough it is 8pm and I'm exhausted with a dog ready to take another loop around the block. We play fetch (read: she runs after toys I throw and then I have to force her mouth open to get the toy back, but we're working on it) and she loves tug-of-war. Then we snuggle in bed and go to sleep around 10pm. As the days get shorter it is becoming even more difficult to get enough exercise during daylight hours. I am not entirely sure what we will do come November and December.

If the exercise does not help my dog, I simply don't have time to do it. There are a lot of exercise sales and programs on social media but not everyone has time for that. From a practical standpoint I don't care about "being tone and tight." I don't know how many times in my last track season someone asked what exercise I was going to take up when I was done sprinting. I always said I planned to get a dog and we were going to take long walks. I'm doing exactly what I said and pretty much living the dream: I don't feel obligated to run right now and Little P gets to go on explorations and get exercise at the same time. It's a win-win. I already get up at 5:30am to get myself ready and get my dog fed, snuggled, and walked around the block before I leave for work. I can't afford to get up much earlier. I already spend close to an hour a day in total exercising my dog. If I added even another 30 minutes of exercise a day I would feel more exhausted than I already do. I would also be eating dinner probably close to 8pm. More exercise really doesn't fit into my day. And I can't sacrifice my dog's exercise needs for my own. I can deal with being out of shape but my dog will destroy things like couches and carpet if she doesn't get enough activity.

Exercise is never easy and it only becomes more difficult after college. For those out there that have managed to find a program that works for them and their schedules, congrats! If you haven't run since your last college meet, that's okay too. From a health standpoint I encourage you to get some exercise each day because it's good for you. At the same time, if you simply can't make it work don't let it stress you out. The time will come when life slows down and you can figure things out. It all takes time.

Big Ugly #1

 

The first Ugly Truth I am addressing is friendship. A few years ago in a track team meeting we were interviewing one of our assistant coaches (if you know the coaches, I'm referring to Doug). Someone asked him, "What's your greatest piece of advice for us [college students]?" He thought about it and said, "Take advantage of the opportunity to live so close to your friends. Because at no other time in your life will you have the chance to be around so many people you enjoy." Doug had many wise words in my years of track but while in college and I could not fully grasp that one. I understand now.

TV shows like "Friends," "How I Met Your Mother," and "New Girl," while all wonderful shows I have binge watched on Netflix, give young adults unrealistic expectations about moving into apartment complexes in new cities. I did not choose this city because it was near my hometown or because my roommates and I decided it would be a good place to start our adult lives. Pretty sure the first time I talked to any of my neighbors was once I had a dog and they thought she was cute. They asked if they could pet her. Of all my neighbors I think I know 3 of their names.

I have a strange set of apartment neighbors, let me tell you. We have very little in common with each other, starting with stage in life and continuing into our different lifestyles. I have a little family of 4 soon to be 5 downstairs, a middle aged woman upstairs (she will talk your arm off if she sees you), a couple that works weird/night schedules and a couple of kids, two guys with a couple girlfriends/kids/dogs/ I don't really understand the dynamics of upstairs, and a revolving door of men from India in which no one lives here more than 2 months. I don't know any of them exceptionally well. They are all friendly enough to hold the door for me if my arms are full of groceries. We smile if we are in the parking lot at the same time. But we definitely don't hangout like old pals. I've never seen the inside of their units and they've never been in mine. We are amicable but not BFFs. It's probably ok this way. I did recently learn that two I work with live at my complex. I might have to capitalize on them but I have no idea how much we have in common besides a workplace and an apartment complex. Results pending.

My best friend currently lives 5 hours and 11 minutes away; my college roommates live 2 hours and 8 minutes and 7 hours and 43 minutes away. I do not live with the people I am closest too. (For now, ignore the fact that I live with my boyfriend. I'll come back to it.) I am not living with people whose presence I enjoy on a daily basis. Sure we text everyday (and the Roomie groupchat will probably always exist because we need a quality gossip spot) but that is not the same as living with each other, having breakfast every morning, and getting ready for bed each night. Every night of college is a slumber party with your best friends. And then one day you graduate and your best friends are gone. You move to a new city and have one or two friends tops; and these friends might not be your best/favorite but you take what you can get. You start a new job and find yourself with people you know nothing about; bridging the gaps can be tough. Every day of college you had friends all around. The real world has a plethora of acquaintances and very few best friends. You treasure the time you spend with the friends you've known longer than a few weeks; you eagerly anticipate and count down the days until you get to see them again.

Personally I have struggled most in the area of friendship as an adult. I know very few people in Des Moines. Sure, I live with my boyfriend but we don't actually spend much time together during the week because he travels frequently for work and we each get home late. After we quickly eat dinner, we hang out with our dog, and soon enough it's time for bed and we do it all over the next day. We value weekends where we can spend quality time together but even that gets filled with errands we can't get to during the week.

Right now I also work in a cubicle. I thought I would like it but I don't. I won't lie. A cubicle makes workplace friendships extra challenging to develop because extreme isolation develops. Not only are you a new employee but you often don't get introduced to many people in a cubicle setting. Workplace socializing is rather frowned upon (I have emails to back up that statement) so really the only times I talk to people are when I have a question or problem; I know even less about my coworkers than I do my neighbors. Sometimes I talk to the people near me because we overhear each other on the phones and we have some strange/outrageous/comical conversations. Other than that, I can go all day without really talking to anyone.

I am certainly not an extrovert but I do enjoy spending time with people I like. I would like to think I'm on my way to making one adult friend (but that's only because she was a high school friend of my boyfriend) but one friend is hardly enough to satisfy the human need to socialize. Trust me when I say I'm looking into ways to make friends. I meet lots of cool people at the dog park and I have done some research about a metro knitting club (they meet in mall food courts around the area). I am also trying to forge regular lunch meet ups at work and plan puppy play dates at the dog park. I might start going to the library writing and scrapbook clubs–don't worry they meet on different Saturdays each month so I can go to both!

So all you college students out there, hug your roommates and enjoy their presence (even when you think they are annoying and you just want some peace) because soon enough you are all by yourself and will wish for your people to be minutes away. Friendships are always a challenge but are worth forging and maintaining.

Big Five

I graduated from college in May with a psychology degree. The "Big Five" is actually a common personality test. The "Big Five" I am referring to are a very different thing. I have lived on my own for four months now. While I spent four years of college on my own, living away from my parents, these past four months have been a very different form of "own my own" and I have discovered a few keys differences between college and the real world.

I like to call these realizations the five ugly truths. They will each be reflected upon more in depth, with a new one featured for my next five posts. These five topics were rarely a challenge in college but can be a harsh reality come living by yourself (sans parents). Here are the very basics of the Big Five:

1. Making friends is tough

2. Getting the recommended exercise can be tricky

3. Cooking everything by yourself gets old some days

4. Filling all your free time with Netflix and TV is not advised

5. Sleeping is always important and you never seem to get enough of it

College is a dream scenario: you live with your friends (or they are a minute walk away), all your food is prepared for you, you have unlimited access to exercise facilities, you can join a college club to indulge in a hobby away from classes, and you can nap whenever you have the time. Very few of these hold up as an adult out on your own. I will share my experiences on adult friendship, exercise, food, hobbies, and sleep. By no means am I the standard of adulthood but I hope I am not an exception.

Cleaning Lady

I was not a clean child. Ever. My room was constantly a mess and on more than one occasion my mom would have to go through my entire room and get rid of "stuff" because I was too attached to do it on my own. I have always been a bit of a hoarder (not enough to deserve a TV show but I definitely like to hold on to things longer than I need to) and probably always will be. I also come by it honestly (looking at you, Dad). My 9th birthday party was almost cancelled because my room wasn't clean and I was taking my dear sweet time to get it to acceptable. It didn't go over very well. I also told my mom once, "Black is the new clean!" to describe why I wasn't cleaning the bathroom. In my defense there was no visible mold but it did need to be cleaned, that's for sure. While I was not terribly good at cleaning, I developed some OCD tendencies (courtesy of the Pierce family). If I was going to clean, by golly the thing was going to be perfect and we were not stopping until things were spotless.

Fast forward to young adulthood (still living at home, but capable of taking care of myself) and I have cleaner habits than childhood. I put my clothes in rainbow order in my closet sometime in middle school and they have been that way ever since. I've lived with a few people that have made fun of it but I don't really care. It makes me feel better and know what's missing. It also is helpful when I'm out shopping: I have a lot of pink and blue shirts so by necklaces or scarves with those colors is a wise investment. I don't own much yellow or green so I don't gravitate toward those colors for accessories or staple pieces.

Also during young adulthood I developed my "pile habit." In my mind everything has a place, even if that means it is in a pile. Piles are this-or-that: clean/dirty clothes, stay in this room/go to another, recycle/throw away, etc. It probably drove my parents crazy but I knew exactly where everything was (even if it was hard to see the floor).

The pile habit came with me to college. I had one roommate that was equal parts messy as me and it was a great living situation. I made a pile by my closet and she made a pile by her desk. We were each a little messy but kept it very contained in a single area. Come senior year I lived with two girls I knew were clean. I was faced with the challenge of having a closet in our apartment living room. I was forced to keep it clean or my roommates and guests would have to see my dirty clothes. However, I had a fair amount of free time at night senior year and tidying up became a form of therapy for me. I also did a lot of stress cleaning: I'm talking a spotless bathroom toilet and sink and vacuuming every inch of carpet about twice. It relieved stress and was a nice form of procrastination because it was productive too. College was also where I really realized I'm bad at doing dishes. Nothing was ever growing in them but I put off doing dishes way longer than I should have.

Now in an adult apartment many of my previous habits have come with me. I am still really bad at dishes and have a boyfriend that reminds me every other day the importance of our dishwasher and wants the ability to use the sink. I'm working on it. I promise. My rainbow closet is still there. If I ever end up in a nursing home I will probably demand my clothes be hung in rainbow order and the poor nurses will have to draw straws to see who has to put my clothes in order. I still believe in nightly tidying, as my dog has no sense of clean and takes all her toys out of her toybox and drops them wherever she pleases. I clean them up each night, along with straightening pillows and blankets (disheveled by the dog too). It makes me feel good and I know I won't trip on something during the night or early in the morning when I have to take my dog out. I have made Sundays designated cleaning days. I vacuum nearly every weekend because of the constant stream of doghair and dust. Bathrooms get cleaned about every other weekend (lately because my dog thinks they are cool to explore and there is dog hair in there now too) but also because toothpaste in sinks is gross to me now. My dog also has no concept of keeping water in the bowl and tends to drool all over the kitchen floor and leave food crumbs everywhere too.

I think the moral of this post is if you are really bad at cleaning get a dog because it forces you to clean up everything all the time. And they're pretty cute even if they make mess doing about anything.

This is my dog Pretzel. Don't let the cute face fool you. She can make a room go from spotless to spotted in less than a second.

I don't know about you, but she doesn't look 52

Sunday is my mom's 52nd birthday. (Sorry Mom if you  weren't planning to tell anyone your age.) I figured the least I could do for my mom is write her a blog post, since I already sent her a pretty sweet card and flowers. I am here to share some fun facts (and even more fun pictures!) about my mom, the lovely Lori.

A lot of people tell my mom and I that we look alike. There are days and pictures I seriously disagree. Then there are other days I can't fathom how genetics work and replicated so closely. Let us examine exhibits A and B.

More often than I want to admit I find myself saying things out loud and immediately following up with a look of shock and saying, "I sounded just like my mother there." It makes me panic a little that even though we no longer live together we share the same tone of voice and mindset. While the following facts are mostly about my mom, the world needs to prepare for this to be me in a few decades too.

Fun Facts About My Mom

1. She is the youngest of 6 siblings, with 5 older brothers (see them below.) Look at that rainbow! And they didn't even call each other! They are in order my age and by rainbow. How cool!

 

2. Mom grew up on a dairy farm in Minnesota, quite successfully showing lots of Holsteins at the state fair.  

2b. She was also a dairy princess for her county. She once said, "I knew I was going to win when the other girl didn't know what the Real Seal was for cheese!" Know your dairy facts, folks. They come in handy.

3. Like many kids who grew up on a farm Mom was also involved in 4-H. (My grandparents helped with it for years and had the plaques to honor their level of dedication.) One time she made a meal that had too many foods all the same color. The judges docked her points for it. We still make fun of it if she ever makes a meal like that now. However, keep in mind some of the best meals of the year (read: Thanksgiving) are all one color and we all seem to enjoy them.

4. Mom is in the Luther Athletic Hall of Fame.  She had multiple top place finishes at state cross country and track meets during middle school and high school. Some of her high school records still stand to this day ;) (The high school she went to doesn't exist anymore after consolidating with another school, so she will be the record holder forever!) Mom also has an All-American honor from college in the 1500 meter run.

 

5. The vast majority of my childhood Halloween costumes (among other random outfits, like some matching dresses we had and I pioneer outfit) were made by my mom. She was (and still is) pretty handy with a sewing machine. I have been a witch multiple times, Hershey's Kiss, Dorothy from Wizard of Oz,  fairy, and many more. Mom made them all. There were a few store-bought costumes over the years but not many; and even those usually ended up with some sort of alteration.

 6. Mother has an affinity for purchasing themed/party/holiday napkins. We have an entire shelf at home devoted to napkins that are not just for regular dinner. Pretty sure she has every holiday covered. All the time. Glad I can count on the napkins come the holidays though. They are a nice constant in a time typically filled with chaos.

7. Mom is a big fan of giving Christmas decorations to people. Not that she thinks your decorations are bad but because she knows people don't buy them for themselves. Several of my cousins have received Christmas decorations as wedding gifts because she wants them to have something special and they are often not the first thing people think to ask for. (Sidenote: I recently purchased Christmas decorations for an upcoming wedding gift. We all know where I'm headed.) 

8. Like I mentioned earlier Mom is 52. She looks pretty dang good for 5 plus decades on this planet. God bless the Kietzer/Schwanke/Phipps women for their lovely skin and being wrinkle-free into their elder years. Grandma Linda looks pretty dang good for a woman into her 90s. Bring on those genetics! They've served Mom well so far and I can only hope to get them too.

 

9. I miss her daily. Being an adult is hard and you can never have too much encouragement and support from your mom. I would be lying if I said I didn't cry when I left home (and I definitely didn't tear up seeing my old bedroom turned into her sewing room) because I knew I would miss her (and my dad and brother but this post is for my mom, not them). And I was right. You never know what life is going to throw you or the next time you will see your parents/family. I talk to my mom more now that I don't live a few blocks from than when I was at Luther. She has done a lot for me–I'm positive there is stuff she has done that I'll never know. So, thank you Grandma Linda for your wonderful daughter and thank you Mom for being mine (and Bryce's too I guess). 

Enjoy every minute of your day and I'm sad I'm not there to celebrate with you. Happy Birthday!

Welcome!

As I begin my 23rd year I thought I would start a blog. I currently lack some hobbies and I thought having a blog would be a nice way to sort out thoughts. While I was thinking about a theme for my blog I decided "adulthood" would be good idea, as it is my current stage in life. I also realized that even though I am questioning a lot of my decisions in this phase, it is also my only chance to "do" this thing called life. So, without further ado, I welcome you to:

Adulthood: Attempt 1 of 1

I am a bit of a perfectionist. I love having plans and knowing what I will do next. Being a college senior in May without a job lined up after graduation was not my idea of good. I was nervous to move away from my hometown/college town. I was nervous to learn a new a city. I was nervous to make new friends. With very little planned and very few leads, I packed up my college apartment and home bedroom and moved to Des Moines. I had a couple job interviews after I arrived there but nothing quite went my way. I was either a company's second choice or never got an interview for jobs I thought were a perfect match to my skills and career aspirations.

Fast forward a couple weeks and I do not have a job (still) but I have an 8 week old puppy. She was fun (still is, and cute as can be!) but even she did not give me a ton of purpose to my day. She needed to be constantly monitored or would get into trouble and potty training could be a struggle some days. While laying around, taking naps, drinking coffee, and playing with my dog was fun I needed more in life–in more ways than one. I needed an income as my meager bank account from college was starting to dwindle and no funds were coming in. I set out to find some part time job to give me a greater sense of purpose and income. After a scanning a few job boards, I applied for several retail jobs (introverted Bre was regretting this decision instantly but she did not have a lot of options at that point). I ended up applying and being hired at Von Maur.

For those who are not familiar with Von Maur it is a department store in malls mainly around the Midwest though it is expanding into the southern United States. It is suuuuuper customer service based and prides itself on high level customer interaction and satisfaction. Being courteous and pleasant at all times was a must. While I am not a Chatty-Cathy by any means I did enjoy my (short) time there, meeting a lot of cool women. Being patient and polite are two of my strong suits so I was not completely out of my league.

The two most important things I learned working retail were:

1. Some people are meant to work in retail. They love people and love to sell.

2. I am not one of those people.

I was pretty decent at selling and pretty good at interacting with people. (Mostly I was starved for human interaction after spending all day with my dog.) I grew up in a small town knowing what seemed like everyone and everyone knew me from something. It was difficult to come to Von Maur and know absolutely no one that walked through my department. I made due and learned how to talk to just about anyone. However I did learn a few key life lessons working there:

1. People are as real as they want.

2. Women love compliments.

To address point 1, it is very obvious when people are faking their personality to sell. Keep that in mind beyond retail. I worked with people who could turn on and off a caring personality in less than two seconds. I could not fathom how polite they were to a customer and how much crap they could say after they left. Their was a frown and glare as soon as the customer left the cash register. Sure, I had my fair share of grumbles after customers who were a challenge but never as much as a few girls I worked with. Be kind. Be gracious. Be humble.

To address point 2, I worked in the petite women's department (so can't say much for men's clothing) and women love hearing they look good in something. There are a lot of body-conscious women out there–I met dozens each day. People should compliment each other more. I have made it a goal at my current job to compliment one person per day. Tell someone you like their sweater. Ask where they got their earrings. Say how cool a shirt and sock combination is. It is not difficult and helps lift people's moods. I cannot begin to tell you how many people have asked me if their butt looked ok in a pair of pants or if a sweater fit right. "Does this jacket make my stomach look flatter? If I suck it in the whole day I think it could look pretty good!" Do you like how you feel in it? If you don't feel confident in it, don't buy. This is probably not the best sales technique to use but it helped women be honest with themselves and only walk away with things that felt right to them. PS- I did have pretty good sales numbers for someone who wasn't pushy about buying clothing. I even talked some women out of very expensive clothing (got a few warnings from my manager about that but she left 2 weeks after I started) but those customers valued my honesty and praise and asked for me the next time they came into the store.

While I was pretty good at selling clothes I knew that was not what I wanted to do with my life. Results still pending what the answer is to that question but I can certainly tell you the next step I took. After working at Von Maur for a few months (part time, random hours was not my favorite either) I eventually found a full time job at Wells Fargo working in loan servicing (I sit in a cubicle for 9 hours a day on a computer). The very basic version of what my job entails is fee reconciliation. Mortgages, deeds, affidavits, powers of attorneys, and beyond are recorded at the county/town/parish/municipality in every state as a public record whenever some takes out a home loan or refinances their current one. My job is to track down a copy with a recording stamp and type up how much it costs. The entire loan is passed along to another team at work that makes sure people are refunded money if they paid too much money up front for recording.

Do I love this job? Eh. Do I want to do this job forever? Not particularly. Is it better than what I was doing at Von Maur? Perhaps. That's where I am after my first summer in the adult world. Slowly I'm figuring out what I want out of a career an developing some skills along the way. I try to see each day as a new task that needs to help me grow. I only have this one chance at any given day. Before I know it I will be middle aged and I do not want to look back at 2016, my first steps in the adult world, with regret.