This past weekend I went to a wedding of someone I didn't know. I was a plus one to a wedding to a long time family friend of my fiancé's family. It was a nice opportunity to attend a wedding and take notes for my own because I didn't know the couple. It was an unbiased chance to look at design elements, program wording, and timeline layout without considering how much it represented the couple.
I had a conversation with other guests during the cocktail hour about the comparisons and judgements at weddings. I had to laugh as the man commented that his daughters better have flawless weddings because they always had something negative to say about other people's nuptials. It got me thinking: we all do it. We walk away having something bad to say. The bride and groom and their families put a lot of time and effort into this day for every guest to rip it to shreds.
The wedding I most recently attended was actually quite lovely. With the exception of the microphone not working while the bride and groom recited their personally written vows, the rest of the day was great. The church was appropriately sized for the size of the wedding. The bridesmaids had cute dresses they all looked good in and carried a simple arrangement of flowers. The groomsmen looked quite spiffy in their tuxes. The reception space was downtown and quite hip (little jealous of the original floor tile; wish I had that in my bathroom at home) with more than enough space for all the guests. I had a great meal of chicken and the pasta helping for the alternate entrée was massive. We had donuts for a cute and personal reason to the couple. The dance had an extremely high participation rate; more than half the guests were out there busting moves. I'm quite sure the groom's family is in a swing dance club because they all knew how to do it.
I walked away with a plethora of ideas: how to do a receiving line, songs I had completely forgotten about but needed to be on my wedding dance list, a plan of attack for RSVP card wording so that I knew who would be showing up and what they wanted to eat. The list goes on and on. I saw different set ups for aspects I hadn't even considered but will definitely need to, like place cards and diagrams for seating arrangements. And I too walked away with my judgements. I wouldn't call them bad; the wedding was fabulous itself. I would call my opinions my preferences. I wouldn't "fill in the blank" that way for my own wedding but it worked for them. It did not take away from the wedding experience. The efficiency freak within me didn't like how particular things were laid out but other guests didn't seem to notice or mind. My opinions simply didn't need to be shared, nor did anyone else's.
We all find nitpicky things to lock in on at weddings. It's become a habit for many people. As soon as we leave the ceremony/cocktail/reception/dance space we spill every critical detail we were holding inside. In reality, we all have preferences and they don't have to line up with the bride and groom's. The bride and groom had a blast on their big day and no one's opinion is going to ruin the joy they felt that day.
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