Year of Yes

For Christmas my best friend gave me a journal by Shonda Rhimes (creator of Grey's Anatomy, Scandal, How to Get Away with Murder) called, "Year of Yes Journal." It was a very thoughtful gift and having a best friend who was an English major in college we have a tendency to buy gifts for each other that follow a reading and writing theme. Well, I started writing in it January 1. New year, new start, new year of yes. It was focused and easy to do. I had planned to write most days and finish the journal in just over a year if I could. I'm plan driven so this seemed perfect. I looked forward to reading it when the 365 days were completed and I could reflect on everything that happened and didn't happen in a year.

The premise of the journal is to chronicle all the things you say "yes" to over a year; the author found herself saying no to too many opportunities. The sections of the journal are themed by month, ranging from beauty to play to people to help and everything in between. There is also a section each day where you can write the ugly parts of the things you said yes to, called "dark and twisty," reminiscent of Cristina Yang from Grey's. She was my favorite character so this felt like an extra appropriate section for myself. Because the reality is there's a lot of crap in a day that can bog down all the good things that happen to us.

I started strong in the beauty section, writing every day for 6 straight days. January 1-6. Then I stopped. I don't remember the definite reason I stopped. I know there were a lot of things out of my control at the time and journaling just didn't fit in my schedule: my job was unstable, my sewer line was backing up on a regular basis, my fiancé was gone a lot for work, the list goes on and on. I wasn't saying yes to anything (except maybe Netflix) because I was worried about everything. I felt obligated to stay home and monitor my sewer and sump pump. I spent hours at night frantically searching and applying for jobs to find something before I could become just a number in a downsize effort. I was stressed and isolated, partly my own doing and partly my circumstances. It was a pretty big time of helplessness. I didn't feel like I was allowed to say yes to anything. There were no silver linings (and I can find the silver lining in about anything if I think about it long enough) and I hated everything.

But I'm back. I've said yes to a few great things this year already but they aren't in the book. Like my engagement, my wedding dress, being a bridesmaid in one of my own bridesmaid's wedding, a new job. They aren't chronicled but simply a stapled page in the beginning to remind me the entire year didn't suck. Sometimes it is difficult to think of those fun times when I remember how unhappy I was at the start of the year.

I'm writing in my Yes journal every morning at work (so 5 days a week). I check my email which is usually a bit depressing and then I think of something happy. I don't have to be to work immediately after I wake up in the morning so I usually spend time watching the news, coffee in hand, and a dog on my lap. These are all things I enjoy doing and I have the privilege of doing them daily. I put on a powerful lipstick color free from Clinique (even though my fiancé says it makes me look a bit pale and vampire ish). Side note: bought a new lip gloss at Target on Thursday and it makes me feel like I can take on the world. There is always something that has happened by 9am that makes me feel good about myself and saying yes to that decision is just the beginning.

Here's the challenge for you: go find that thing that makes you say yes everyday. Some days it is a promising opportunity to meet with a client. Other times it is a great lip color. Whatever you need to say yes to each day to make yourself successful, do it. Do it everyday. And do it with your whole being.

PS- Thanks, Kaitlin for the journal. I'm finally putting it to good use again and it's a godsend some days.