Phipps Phamily

Last Saturday my grandma Linda passed away; she was 92 years old and her death was not sudden. That does not make it any less sad but 7 hours alone in the car gave me ample time for reflection. I got to see most of my cousins this weekend. This is the first time in over a decade I have seen a few of them. Others I saw a couple years ago for my grandma's 90th birthday party. They are a hilarious bunch and I wish we got together more often.

Here's the kicker: we are spread out in age and geography. My oldest cousin is closing in on 50 and my brother (the youngest cousin) just turned 21. We're spread out over almost 30 years. To say we don't have a lot in common is an understatement. We are scattered all around the United States. Many are in Iowa, there's the Montana contingent, then a Colorado, Nebraska, North Carolina, and Wisconsin. I think that's everybody. Sorry if I missed someone's state. We only get together for funerals, weddings, and major milestone birthday parties. It's tough to coordinate schedules, flights, and days off but we do the best we can.

Cousins (most of us anyway)

A good portion of the Phipps family

Keeping all this in mind, we do share one thing in common regardless of age and geography. We share the same set of grandparents. Our grandparents were wonderful people and while they are neither one are here on earth, they are finally back together. Even if their grandchildren are spread out in age, there are certain characteristics about our grandparents that I imagine have not changed throughout our lives.

1. Crazy Bee Rummy: this is a card game very similar to Phase 10. I don't know when they got the game but I plan to track down my own copy of the game because it was fun and easy to play. We played it every holiday and it had to be played in marathon form. It never went quickly because we usually played with a lot of people. We all have our own favorite memory of playing the game with Grandma and Grandpa.

2. Birthday cakes are extra special when your grandma was a cake decorator for a living: We each had our fair share of fancy birthday cakes, decorated to honor of our favorite hobbies, sports teams, and games. I spent most of my life thinking my first birthday cake was special. Turns out we all the same one. Grandma went so far as to mail birthday cakes if she couldn't be there to deliver it herself. Not that that method worked out really well, but it's the thought that counts.

3. Quilts: Grandma was a very accomplished quilter and made one for each of her grandkids. Her sewing room was always overtaken with family at holidays but Grandma made sure her quilting supplies were in a nice stopping place. I have a quilt made of my mom's childhood clothes. I also took one from her apartment that she was going to give away. It looks straight from the 70s and everyone that uses it smirks at the coloring. It is special nonetheless.

4. Black raspberries: I was personally never old enough to go out into the woods and pick black raspberries with Grandpa but I definitely ate my fair share of berries when he came back. Even now my mom puts them on ice cream because she's eaten them that way for years. There was always homemade black raspberry jam at Grandma and Grandpa's house too. Every time I see black raspberries in the grocery store I smile.

5. Family picture shelf: Grandma and Grandpa were always proud of their family. Always. And when you have 6 kids and 15 grandkids you have to put all their pictures on display. They had shelves at their house where they kept all their family pictures. The grandchildren were divided into 2 shelves: school pictures and wedding photos. Your senior photo stayed on the grandchild shelf until you got married and then you moved to the other side of the TV to the married children shelf. It was big deal.

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I can still smell Grandma's Estee Lauder perfume. I giggle every time I picture the bull slippers Grandpa owned. I thank them both for inspiring my cow themed kitchen. Once a year I try to eat grapefruit because we always had it for breakfast at Christmas (I'll eat one and then bail on my plan). Out of habit I always have 3 cans of tuna, just like Grandma. Sometimes I forget how fresh Honey Nut Cheerios can be because they were always stale at the house. I cannot believe we used to play hide and seek in a single level house. They had the coolest bin of plastic figurines and toys and Grandma always made sure to have it out before we got there. We all played with the duck pull behind toy at kids. Every time I see an elderly woman wearing pantyhose in the summer I picture Grandma too.

Our grandparents were special. We meant the world to them and they meant the world to us. As sad as it is they are both gone, they are together again–which has been Grandma's wish for the last decade and I'm happy she finally got her wish.