It's the Little Things

Being a nanny comes with a lot of challenges: it seems someone is always being naughty, no one is listening, the dog is howling, and the questions never seem to end. (If someone asks me one more time if it is raining outside I just might say yes!) We have recently hit a bout of misbehavior in my nanny house. Boys with attitude and a "you can't tell me what to do" mentality. Their mother does not tolerate that and neither will I. Throughout last week I struggled with my job choice and how happy I was with it.

Last week I also made a deal with Boy #1 (B). B has a certain set of developmental issues that put him at a slight disadvantage in life. He doesn't seem to mind be different or not up to standard with his peers but once preschool hits I worry he will become more self-conscious. When I started as a nanny in January B couldn't dress himself. At 3.5, his twin brother does not struggle with clothing whatsoever (minus being a little slow and indecisive about character shirt choice) so it was quite noticeable that B was behind. He would throw a fit daily that I had to dress him. We are talking a 45 minute debacle of him running the halls and thrashing on the ground while I tried to dress him. I poked him in the eye a few times and he landed on a wrist wrong more than once because he would trip as he tried to run away. It was a struggle and I dreaded getting him ready every day because I would lose nearly an hour of my day to this; mind you I can't watch the Boy #2 or the dog running around the house either. I had to hope neither of them got hurt or ran out the door.

Rather than continue this nonsense I made it a learning moment. B needs to learn to dress himself. That's not negotiable. He is more than capable but had grown very accustomed to throwing a fit and being forced into clothes; he never learned to get dressed. So I taught him how to put on pants. He wears a lot of sweatpants with strings. I tell him every day, "The strings go in the front." Not many days after we started this adventure he picked out pants without strings, looked at me with a panicked face and said, "How do I tell which way is the front? There aren't any strings!" We had a discussion about tags go in the back but strings still go in the front if we have them. Yesterday I let him out of the house to head to the library with his pants on backwards. Some other moms pointed it out to me. Eh, whatever. We couldn't put on our own pants 2 weeks ago and we can now. I'm not going to fix it because he likes this new found independent.

Gradually we have added more clothes he can do on his own and fewer I have to help with. Socks weren't as tricky has he thought and short sleeve shirts are a piece of cake. Long sleeves? We needed a game plan as to how to get our arms all the way up the sleeves, but it got better each time. We made a deal on Tuesday: if he could get dressed all by himself he could make cookies (premade cookies where he just puts them on the pan and I space them out after so they all cook!). I said I would pick out his clothes but he had to put them on all by himself. And he did it! In a record 10 minutes too! He went so far as to put on his own shoes that day too because he realizes he can try before he asks for help. He can do his own coat now too. Sure, the zipper is tricky but if I get it started he zips it right up.

The takeaways in life aren't about teaching others. We all used to be helpless and needed a lot of guidance to get dressed every day. I don't know at what age it is normal to dress yourself but B got there on Tuesday. It was far more rewarding to play a role in his progress than I anticipated. We have plenty more skills to work on but they will all be accomplished, I am confident in that. When you're having a bad day remember how far you've come: starting with dressing yourself and potty training all the way to reading. Sometimes life feels a bit stagnant but there was rapid growth at the beginning that makes the now possible. It's the little things that make the big things easy now.

Decisions Decisions

This past weekend I attended a bridal shower (woot woot Katie!) and had a lovely time. At the end I met friend of Katie's who knew me to be one of her former roommates and wanted to know what I was up to. She asked where I live and what I do for a living. I informed her I live in Des Moines and that I am a nanny, still trying to figure out my life. Which is very much true. I left a less than stellar experience as a financial advisor that requires hefty tests to prove intelligence to become a nanny that requires no formal training, just a care of children and an ability to creatively problem solve on a regular basis. To be completely honest being a nanny was last ditch effort to leave my previous job. I needed a new job and was rather desperate but that's a topic for a later discussion when I am more distanced from the company.

But anyway, back to the original point of this post! Lately I've been doing a lot of self-evaluation, career wise. What do I want? (I don't know) What do I not want? (Lengthy list) It is a lot of research and online quizzes and reading to drum up a list of possibilities to consider and rule out from there. Life is complicated and to make matters worse college students are forced to choose a major that will likely define their career choices from here on out. Sure, sometimes you can make a sweeping change and a place is willing to train you on the fly but most of the world is to busy to take on such a task. I graduated from college with a degree in psychology. At graduation, I thought I knew what I wanted to do with that degree. As I experimented in other jobs my thoughts changed and I began to stretch my psychology degree further.

Being a psych major is a blessing and a curse: so many options almost too many options. Therapist, human resources specialist, guidance counselor, psychologist, researcher, psych tech. The list goes on forever because the major is so inclusive and adaptable; that is part of why I loved it in the first place. I entered college with a vague idea of what I wanted to do with my life and left with virtually the same feeling. It was a struggle at times to be very certain about some things (like choosing a major) and clueless about other things (what to pursue with said major). I envy the people that stepped foot on campus knowing what they wanted as an end result and made it happen from day one. Kudos to you! I envy the people that took a life altering class that gave them a proverbial shove in the direction of their dreams. I also envy the people that walked into a major with a very practical application and jobs waiting for them at graduation. It takes all kinds to make the world go round. Imagine if everyone was a doctor or an accountant or a teacher or a lawyer. If we all were the same what would honestly happen? Chaos and destruction I assume. I laid on my dorm room floor many times contemplating everything life had to offer and how I planned to choose something. Ha, not one has worked. But thanks to every roommate that laid there with me and tried to solve world problems.

We all have a life path ahead of us and we cannot forget the part of the trail we already blazed in our rearview mirror. It was important to you once and likely still should be. I don't even remember now why I took Psych 130- General Psychology, in the first place but I'm certianly glad I did. Growing up is a process and you never stop growing. Some times you feel like you might be shrinking or shriveling and then within a few weeks you feel like you are taking off on a growth spurt like a teenage boy over summer vacation. But it's all growth, I promise, and it is all propeling you to the best end result you can possibly imagine; full of happiness and fulfillment.