Kevin's Big Adventure

Today was big day for Kevin. I knew a week ago that he would be getting a book to take home today. He found out in the classroom at 12:45pm and by 12:50pm he was the proud new owner of a book. If you have been following my blog you know a little bit about Kevin. He's a 7 year old boy in the second grade. This is the first book he himself has ever owned; the first book his house owns. I hope he reads it to the point he memorizes it. This was huge. He was so proud of his new book he asked me, "Can you take my picture with my book, Miss Bre?" Of course, Kevin. Of course. He was still concerned the book would go to his classroom or be put on the cart of books available to us through the program. Nope. This book is all for you kid. He said it was his favorite book ever. I asked if he had read it before and he said no but he already knew he would love it. That's the power of reading, learning, and education. Don't ever doubt your impact on others.

A brief update on his reading skills. It astounds me how much progress we have made in a month of reading together, once a week, for 30 minutes a day. We start each day with me reading to him while he eats his lunch (have you ever watched a 7 year old multi-task? It doesn't work. At all.) and eventually move to us each reading every other page. Some days, when Kevin feels bossy or is really interested in the book, he reads it all to me. Sure there are words he struggles with but for the most part he can sound them out. I provide a little help here and there. Today we talked about the different sounds the letter G makes (the word suggest was confusing for him). Sometimes it is 'ja' like giraffe or 'ga' like game. We came across the word "through" and he asked why there was a G in that word because he couldn't hear it when he said it. Touché, Kevin, because I don't know. 

We read a few Halloween and fall themed books today and he breezed through them. He was explaining Beggar's Night to me (it's a Des Moines thing). I told him I didn't know what it was because I wasn't from Des Moines. He then proceeded to ask me about where I grew up so naturally I drew map of Iowa to show him. Then I drew the surrounding states. He asked about Florida and Arizona; at that point I pulled up a map on my phone because my art skills are quite lacking so showing him was much easier. I also couldn't draw the whole United States from memory. We talked about different states and where they are in relation to each other. Then he asked about Africa and China and Antarctica and I found a world map that showed everything. He claimed he is going to visit everywhere on Earth. I said go for it and good luck. He seemed pretty determined to see the whole world. 

He gets 3 more books this year but he doesn't know that yet. I want them to be a surprise; I hope he is as excited for the next 3 as he was for the first one. In the movie "The Blindside" Sandra Bullock meets with a few of her friends and they are talking about the young man she has taken into her home. The quote goes, "'You're changing that boy's life.' 'No, he's changing mine.'" That's Kevin. I've taken reading and books for granted my whole and Kevin puts just enough perspective into my life to keep me humble. He's changing my life and I didn't even know it needed changing.

Kevin posing with his first book.

Priding Moments

I was recently asked what accomplishment in my life I was most proud of. I thought for a moment and provided a legitimate answer. And then I got to thinking, what other things am I proud of in my life? I'm only 24 but I have done enough in my life at this point but I wanted a definitive list. So here they are, in some semblance of an order but this could be subject to change. (Update: this list changed 8 times while I was writing and elaborating on each statement.)

1. Passing the securities exams I took this summer to become a financial advisor. These tests are a kick in the pants. Don't let anyone tell you differently. I spent countless hours this summer studying for these tests and was thoroughly convinced I was going to fail them. I was so convinced in fact that I was job searching the night before each test because I was sure I would not be able to continue down this path. Alas I passed and here I am.

2. Running a lifetime PR in my last 4x400 experience. I ran track for 10 years. Nothing is greater in track than a lifetime PR. I went out and ran that race with no goals or intentions. It was the last meet with all my teammates before the conference meet. It was the Wartburg Dual and I had nothing to lose. I chased some girl down and crushed it. Never mind the fact my last race the following week was not as good but the PR race meant more to me because of the people I ran with. It was four years of friendship that race all jammed into a 4 minute race.

3. Raising a puppy. Anyone that says having a dog isn't like having a real child is lying. A year and a half ago we got a puppy (<3 Little P). It is amazing how helpless she started and how much she can do now. Every skill she has we taught her. At the same time every skill she does not have is our fault. She is far from perfect (sorry to all the people she takes a running leap at and hits you right in the midsection...It's only people she vaguely recognizes). She's a work in progress but I never thought we could get her to the point of free reign of the house while we're at work based on how the first week went. I have no idea how we potty trained her. She used to take a 3 hour nap after walking from her potty spot to the garbage center at the apartment and now we can walk an hour and she's hardly tired.

4. Picking out a wine cork with a tweezers in France because I didn't have a wine opener. I went abroad for a month during my sophomore year of college. We went to a grocery store in France and I bought a bottle of wine. Being the inexperienced wine drinker I was (because I was only 20 in the US which doesn't allow me to buy alcohol) I did not think to look for a screw top cap. I bought a bottle with a wine cork. I was determined to open the damn bottle myself. I sat on the floor on my hotel room in France with my tweezers for a half an hour picked out the cork piece by piece. Naturally I had to drink the whole bottle in one night because the cork was destroyed. I think it is an excellent testament to my patience and creativity.

5. Successful photography career at Luther. My first photos at Luther weren't great. I can't even remember the first ones but I know they were not up to the standard I wanted to produce. By my senior year I was in a wonderful place with my photography: I knew my camera inside and out and could manipulate it in the dark. I knew it well enough to teach others how to use it. The image I am most proud of specifically is still used widely in college mailings and advertisements. I got up at 4:30am to photograph the Martin Luther statue on campus at sunrise (fun fact: trees block the sun from touching the statue until well after sunrise hours). In order for the morning to not be a complete bust I wandered around snapping pictures of other campus attractions. The bell at sunrise with not a soul around and dew glistening on the grass is my favorite photo of all time.

6. Starting a blog. This blog started as a small undertaking and a free hobby during a time when I didn't have a ton of funds. I had no idea how many people would read it, enjoy it, and appreciate it. Thanks, fan club!

7. Learning how to cook. I left college with very few cooking skills and have managed to develop some recipes I am proud of. I am even at the point I can offer minor cooking advice to others. This winter my brother is going to live with me for a two months and I am going to teach him all I know about cooking. Not that my knowledge is vast but I can offer great advice for beginners.

8. Planting and growing a garden. One time in the 10th grade I wrote my autobiography (the entire class did, this wasn't just a me thing). We had to list out goals (5 years, 10 years, 15 years, and general). I put grow a vegetable garden on my general goal list. Low and behold I planted a tomato and squash garden earlier this summer. I was up to my eyeballs in tomatoes and the squash was pretty tasty. I did not anticipate my level of success but I learned a lot about small scale agriculture and now have a group of garden ladies at church that provide free advice for growing a successful garden.

9. Running a half marathon. I ran my half marathon back in 2014. I trained pretty religiously for this. Around mile 8 of the race I was content to quit. I tried to find a pothole midcourse and try to roll an ankle to end the misery. There were ample choices on an old stretch of interstate in the Twin Cities but alas I kept running. I finished. I laid on the ground after and cried. A nice man handed me a medal and congratulated me. He then informed me I was in the way and needed to move. Except I couldn't so I kept laying there until my family came to get me.

10. Prime execution of my 90s mom Halloween costume senior year of college. My roommate Jesse and I were unsure of what to be for Halloween. Naturally we went to Goodwill in town and scoped out the secondhand clothes options. We stumbled upon turtlenecks and jumpers. Add in our tacky jewelry and big glasses and we looked just like our own moms shortly before we were born. We got many compliments. We underestimated how hot our costumes would be at the bar and how drenched in sweat our outfits would be (note: don't wear a turtleneck to the bar. Just don't.). The morning after our adventure out I picked up my turtleneck and it was skill soaked. I nearly threw up it was that bad. But nonetheless we had the perfect costumes.

There you have it. My top ten priding accomplishments. Maybe you skimmed over them, maybe you read them all, maybe you were there to witness them. Thank you. Sometimes I get bogged down with all the stress and negativity in my day to day in my life that I forget to be thankful for all the opportunities on my journey and all the people that helped me get there.

Burn Baby Burn

The other day I asked my best friend for a blog topic because I short on ideas. She mentioned job burnout. This is a topic that has been studied quite extensively in the psychology field so I have heard my fair share about it. Certain occupations are more prone to burnout than others (teaching and nursing are just a few examples) but no occupation is completely exempt. I'm relatively new to my own job and haven't felt burnout quite yet.

But here's the catch: we could all use a day off. I am by no means overworked but my work brain is always on. I have dreams about emails and phone calls I need to make in the following days. Emails pop up on my computer in the bottom right hand corner of the computer screen. Weirdly enough, that's the exact location of where the email notifications show up in my dreams too. I have nightmare-esque dreams where insurance illustrations come to life and the numbers attack (think mutant contagious virus except with thousands of dollars). Unsurprisingly I am not sleeping well either.

I'm blessed with a flexible schedule and when a bout of the stomach bug hit yesterday morning I was able to stay home and not do much. It was great: I briefly checked my email at 10:30am when I finally left the couch and then didn't touch my computer the rest of the day. My day off was great. Sure I have weekends where I am not formally working but I usually have my eyes and ears open to look for potential clients: at the dog park, at church, shopping around town. I'm always on. Yesterday, there were no expectations. The morning was spent stuck on the couch feeling less than stellar. But the early afternoon was full of efficiency: I washed all my rugs, swept the floors and washed them, made a trip to the grocery store and bought supplies to make a tie blanket. I was mentally turned off. These were all things I wanted to get done this week but doing them at my leisure instead of in hurried frenzy before my parents come to town Saturday made me feel much more at ease. I had no desire to see if anyone emailed me. My phone was with me all day so I know that no one called me. The separation was refreshing and rejuvenating. The disconnect brought me a renewed set of energy.

Burnout is not some myth: I see it in people all the time. I worry about young people in particular. We carry more debt (student loans) than any generation before but aren't making that much more money for a starting income than previous generations. I know of recent grads working two or three jobs to afford the lifestyle they would like. Except they don't have the free time to spend the money they have earned. On the flip side there are other grads working their butts off putting in 60+ hours a week making minimum wage; or worse, they are salaried low and the expectation is for them to do it all and work all the hours possible. It's a vicious cycle of work and free time and money available. There often feels like no end is in sight.

You were designed to have breaks in your schedule. You need recharge time. I don't know how many people I know that don't use their vacation time to their advantage; they are also the first complain about feeling overwhelmed and overworked. Use the time you are granted and take that PTO. I am not advocating for people to call in every time they feel even the slightest bit not okay but take a mental health day here and there for your own sanity.

Reading Reality

I think back on my own life and I had ample books growing up. From birth on there were always books at my disposal in my own home. Book orders where my favorite thing to take home each month. I have always loved reading (hence volunteering as a reading mentor and joining a mystery book club at a neighborhood bookstore). At any given time there are a few books on my nightstand just dying to be read. Perhaps I would have loved reading less if my parents didn't feed into my love. It helped that my parents were teachers who could see the value of reading and could financially afford to support my desires to read and learn.

One time in first grade there was a reading challenge (my family took it to mean contest; we're competitive). We were supposed to read 21 books in the month of February. It was called Running Start and there was a little track to keep a record of how many books I read, with 21 books on a page. For each book read you got a little shoe sticker to move one step forward on the track. Well, I read 301 books in the month of February and got third place in my class. Running Start continued for a few more years but the rules were rewritten after my class. One kid read over 600 books. I don't even begin to know what else he did with his life for that month. Did he sleep? Did he go outside? Did he call in sick to school a few times and stay home and read all day? I will never know. There was a snow day that month. After we read all the books in our house my dad and I went to the library twice in one day to get another slew of books to read. I don't remember how many books we read that day but it was a lot.

During the current school year I read with a little boy (let's call him Kevin) at a local elementary school every Monday during lunch through Everybody Wins! Iowa, a program from United Way of Central Iowa. Each Monday, Kevin and I get together along with about 20 other adults reading to second graders from the school. We only have 30 minutes together during the lunch time. I read to Kevin while he eats lunch. When he is done eating we take turns reading, alternating pages per his request. He is a little sweetheart, asking me on the first day if he can call me "Miss Bre" and not just "Bre." Of course, you're too polite.

Let me tell you more about Kevin. He's a second grade boy. He is not a strong reader but loves being read to. He enjoys sports and Star Wars books. We have a bingo card of book types to fill up. When we have filled the whole card Kevin gets a free book. He thought the book would go to his second grade classroom. I informed him he would get to keep the book himself and take it home. He was so excited. The only books he had at home were "God books." ("You mean bibles?" I asked. "Oh yea, those.") This would be the first book he has had all to himself. He's 7. This is the first book he will own. He is well below grade level in reading. I know I was an overachieving kid in the reading department but as a second grader he is struggling through books I mastered in kindergarten. He wants to be a dentist. If he doesn't learn to read there's strong chance he will not excel in other academic areas because the reading will be too difficult. My hope is that we can really develop his reading skills this year. That starts with having access to books for him.

Behind all of us that read so many books growing up were parents encouraging our every move. The thing is, I don't know if Kevin even has a library card or parents who would get him one. I know he has a dog and while dogs are cute and fun they don't come with library cards or books that will help him learn. There are scary statistics about kids not being at grade level reading by the start at third grade are less likely to succeed in school: never be at grade level reading and they are more likely to drop out. Beyond third grade reading is not just learning to read it is about reading to learn. This program is vital. It is vital for all kids but Kevin is a prime example. I grew up very privileged compared to him with books always within an arm's reach.

So the next book you read (or magazine or newspaper or study material), think about what got you to that point. Your parents, your grandparents, your aunts and uncles, your teachers. Someone had to help you. You didn't magically wake up one day with the ability to read. You had to learn. Thank the person that helped you and pass along the gift of reading to someone else.

Beauty of Being American

Mornings like these it is difficult to remember how much America has to offer. We are far from perfect but no country has it all figured out; everyone has something to improve.

When a mass shooting occurs people immediately start to point fingers. "Take away all guns." "Assault rifles for everyone to protect themselves." "Maybe something in the middle that lets people have guns but not such high power weapons." There are always opinions floating around. Luckily for me, my dad is a government teacher. I don't know about everyone else's government teachers but mine wasn't overly political in class. Since he's my dad I know his political affiliation but he keeps it pretty quite while teaching.

If anything, government class taught be how to listen intently without judgement. Frankly I do not care where anyone stands on major issues. I might not agree with your stance on guns, gay rights, or abortion but I'm willing to hear you out. If you do not strong backing to your argument ("it's just what I think") I have a harder time understanding where you come from and why you think it. My own best friend of 10 years has very little in common with me politically but here we are getting along just great. It would be easy to fall into the trap of trying to convince each other that the other is wrong but that is wasted breath. Instead we focus on our shared loves of rom coms, country music, and the Bachelor. There is not much point in telling people their ideas and affiliations are "not correct." In politics, there is no right or correct answer. We are not living in a test universe. There is plenty of room for shades of gray. There are multiple right answers in most situations.

Do you hold the door for someone behind you with their hands full of groceries and 3 kids in tow? I like you. Do you politely request another set of silverware at a restaurant when the waiter forgets a set? I like you. Do you smile at your neighbors when they are headed to the store? I like you. There are too many good qualities in people to let a bit of politics ruin a good relationship.

At the end of the day there will be too many families across the U.S. who no longer have a loved one. I cannot fix it. I can hope the world heals a little here and there. I can hope we find a solution to gun rights and mental health that puts the fewest people in harm's way. I can hope for common ground and a way for America to move forward peacefully. There might be a some self-destruction through the process but we will make it. The beauty of being American is that we have the freedom to choose. I carry a copy of the Constitution with me wherever I go. (I promise I'm not that geeky; I got a free copy at government camp once and it's never left my purse collection.) It serves as a constant reminder that I live somewhere where I have choices and my friends and family have choices and that we can all live together happily even when we do not make the same choices.

Be kind. Give everyone a break.